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Virginity: The Issue

Chalice - Female Symbol
My previous post was one of the most popular post in IndiBlogger yesterday for which I have earned my first badge that I can proudly flaunt on my blog. So I really wanted to write for this big thing in my Blogging Life, but I must address some issues regarding the topic, regarding some posts and regarding my own views with a bit more depth.

I definitely did not want to pin point people but sometimes you have to. Here goes the first.


I surely don’t want to say much for this comment but I have to. I don’t live in an American society. In India, no matter what you say and no matter how much awareness you try to put up in people’s mind, the character certificate of a girl is needed in the most important thing of her life i.e. her marriage. Of course, here I’m talking about arranged marriages particularly. People don’t have a problem when a guy drinks, smokes or spend his weekends in the red light areas. But they can reject a girl if she smokes or drinks or for this post if she had sex with another male. I don’t want to go into the back-story of things but I will write about that in this post later. So with a friendly gesture, I’m not pin pointing at your mind set or mine. The people out there have a majority buddy and yes they do require a girl’s character certificate. And leave aside the virginity issue, people even have problems with past affairs.


Now with all due respect, I don’t know if I’m a moral keeper or not but the words you have used, I’m sure you need to be judged first. Thirteen people voted for my idea which means that they certainly did understood the reason behind the idea. I have no words to reply for the words that you have used. The least I say, the better it is.


I read all the posts. Like I always say, we were born to have different opinions and so we do. It’s good to share your views as that is the only medium through which you can learn something you did not know. It’s the only way you can modify thoughts towards a better approach.But that should be done in a friendly manner.

I chose this topic because I know of a girl who had to go through it. I can’t name her for obvious reasons and probably she is now living peacefully with a good human being. The intention was not offensive towards the female gender as some fellow people (I have not mentioned all of them.) took it to be. Of course we can use some Hi-Fi psychological talks, quote some sayings from the past, and add some good vocabulary that might not even be understood by the common people who did not graduate with literature. But all that will stay with you only. So, are you trying to make your skills popular or are you trying to spread awareness or a message.

Virginity by all means is related just with the hymen by many people out there. Nobody tries to understand the psychology behind the term and the mental relation with the term.

If a girl fell in love with a guy who seemed pretty serious and lost her virginity with him only to be dumped by him afterwards, how is this her fault? For all I know, she thought she would marry him one day. Secondly if you are against the notion of pre-marital sex, then why only the girls have to go through this? Why don’t guys keep a check on their virginity as well? I guess if that happens, this issue won’t even exist. Thirdly, if you believe that this is the twenty first century and you can do what you want then why don’t you teach that to your parents? Also, why do you seek a virgin bride for your life partner then? You can’t stand the fact that your wife has already slept with someone? But what about those girl/s who are left with the same fate by you?

So who are you exactly? In any case, you do agree that the one who suffers is the girl right? So why all the hypocrite talks? Why not accept the truth and the fact that no matter how much progressive is your thinking, you can find such cases near you all the time.

Moving forward, since many people do connect virginity with the breakage of hymen, I would like to add a few facts that I also left as a comment on one post. The hymen can be broken while cycling, horse riding, stretching during sports and gymnastic activities. So won’t she be a virgin anymore? But how do you believe her with that ill mentality of yours? She could have broken it in the innocent age of childhood while she was just exploring her body. She didn’t even know back then what it is called.

What if you got an arranged proposal of a girl? You like her a lot. She’s the best match for you. But before your engagement, she tells you about her past affair and let you know of the fact that she had even slept with him. But the guy dumped her and married some other girl as per his parents’ wish? Will virginity matter to you? Or will the truthful soul of that girl spark a new love and trust in you for her?

All I wanted to say was that you should not bluntly associate the character of a girl with her virginity.  There can be several reason. Don't judge anyone before you know what happened actually. If a girl shares her past with you, it's because she wants to start her relation on the foundation of trust. Understand the situation before you reject her straight-forwardly. 

If you believe that you are among the wise ones, spread your thoughts with your friends and your closed ones. Eradicate the humiliation of girls on vague terms. Respect her for what she is on the inside. The girl who faced rejection might just be a victim of false promises (which she is in most of the cases).


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14 comments

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Ananya Tales
AUTHOR
June 15, 2014 at 2:05 AM delete

Thanks for writing this meaningful post !
http://www.ananyatales.com/

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Anita
AUTHOR
June 15, 2014 at 11:51 AM delete

I mentioned it in your previous post Anmol- trustworthy are the ones who share personal details.
It's shockingly sad when men who are responsible for the loss of the virginity of women, refuse to marry them on the pretext that the same women are no longer virgins! Neither are the same men, but no 'issue' over the 'tissue' for them!
What double standards the society has...

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shruthi nayak
AUTHOR
June 15, 2014 at 2:15 PM delete

I agree with Anita here.. One of my college mates had physical relationship with so many women and he even bragged about it.. but finally, ended up marrying a decent small town simple girl.. when I asked him why he married a village girl, he said he can't trust the girls from cities and he has seen many himself... It really irks me when men talk like this...

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Anmol Rawat
AUTHOR
June 16, 2014 at 2:18 AM delete

Thank you for commenting again Anita :)
Yup, it's the sad truth and the sufferers are just the girls. If only the society could treat the genders equally. I like that word 'double standards' you have used to define the issue. Waiting for your post :)

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Anmol Rawat
AUTHOR
June 16, 2014 at 2:20 AM delete

That's the story of so many guys Shruthi. You can find such guys in every college, every workplace, even at schools these days. But nothing is done to keep them on the line. However many of those girls face consequences in future.

Thank you for dropping by and sharing your opinion :)

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Kokila Gupta
AUTHOR
June 17, 2014 at 10:32 AM delete

Read you previous post and this one. How I agree/disagree with you is evident that I am joining you :) great indispire..and great posts yours and many others I have read ... thanks to your topic :)

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Anita
AUTHOR
June 17, 2014 at 6:37 PM delete

Thanks Anmol :)
I shared my Post & vented out so many feelings-
http://anitaexplorer.blogspot.in/2014/06/virginity-character.html
And yes, I did use Bollywood Movies in good measure :P

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Anita
AUTHOR
June 17, 2014 at 6:39 PM delete

I agree with Kokila :)

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Anmol Rawat
AUTHOR
June 17, 2014 at 10:29 PM delete

He He. That's your ISP :D
Will read in a while :)

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Anmol Rawat
AUTHOR
June 17, 2014 at 10:30 PM delete

Thank you both of you :) It means a lot when someone supports you against a cause. :)

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Shruti Modi
AUTHOR
June 18, 2014 at 3:23 PM delete

I am glad anmol u wrote on this topic. i just read ur previous post .. yea i agree n support u in this. i wish and pray n hope we have more people thinking logically and rationally. People say we are living in modern world, i have second thoughts on that. bcs perhaps our lifestyle has changed but not mentallity. great work buddy once again. keep writing :)

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Anmol Rawat
AUTHOR
June 19, 2014 at 11:20 PM delete

Thank you Shruti :)
I second on that. We do need a change in our mentalities. Thank you again and yes I will :)

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December 10, 2015 at 5:51 PM delete

Blaming her for the cowards that they are. It is because we have never seen people for who they are on the inside that we keep judging them on the things that they do on the outside. Not only do you prison a woman’s body but also her heart and mind, and that, is the end of her life, irrespective of as long as she lives.

LET’S BE HUMAN, NOT VIRGINS. http://goo.gl/vwUQMi

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